Cycles: A Time to Withdraw

Note: to start this post, it will help if you know that I'm pagan.

One of the things I love about my Spiritual practice is the inherent balance of everything. I am sure I will talk about balance in more depth at some point. But, just know that it is one of the driving forces in my life. I strive for balance.

Specifically for this post, I thought I'd talk about the balance of the year. Wicca and a lot of other Pagan religions, follow the Wheel of the Year. It can be either four to eight set holidays. I follow the eight holiday version. These holidays are spread evenly throughout the year.

With these eight set holidays, we have the year in a wheel formation. To remind us that everything in life is cyclical. The seasons follow a cycle. The earth follows a cycle. The Gods and Goddesses follow a cycle. We too, follow a cycle. One of action and inaction. Ebb and flow. Being more outward and proactive, versus inward and reactive.

At least we should do that.

And I hate to say it that way, because our society puts so many "shoulds" on us.

But we do need that cycle of outward and inward.

We have so many pressures put on us by the media, friends, and family. You should parent this way. You should do it while looking good. You should weigh this much, look this way, wear this brand, dress according to this style, have a picture perfect holiday season, and so on.

But we never have a solid amount of time for contemplation and consideration. It's go, go, go as soon as Halloween hits, maybe Thanksgiving if you're lucky. Which is counter to the cycle of the Earth.

The Witches New Year is on Samhain (Halloween for non-pagans) and it's also the start of the Dark Half of the year. It's a time to start pulling inward. Prepping for the cold winter months. What do you want to do this year? What should you let go of? What should you embrace? What should you actively try to pursue? All of these questions are asked now. And surprisingly, you are expected to withdraw, contemplate, and consider your next move.

Now, there is that kind of feeling in the Secular world around New Year's. But our society only really gives us a week or so. After the rush of Christmas, it's okay, now you can relax. But by January 5th, you're expected to dive into the new year. Start accomplishing ALL THE THINGS! Keep to your New Year's Resolutions.

But because there wasn't much contemplation, or even catching your breath, you just start adding to your big plans. You haven't had the time to really think about if they will work or are actually possible to do. Then, when your big plans fail, you feel guilt, shame, or just meh about it. At some point, it becomes a feeling of why bother? And then it's just a flatline of emotion about the whole thing. Or worse, a downward spiral of meh-ness and possibly depression.

This also happens when people pass away. When someone dies, their funeral is typically a week or so later. There's two maybe three days of viewing, funeral, visiting, and such. But the people closest to the deceased are usually still in shock. However, according to society, you've had your "time" to grieve. So you need to pick up and move forward. But the shock is still there. And when it does finally starts to wane, no one is around to help you build your new reality.

You're expected to keep moving forward and upward, without the contemplative time to reassess. To allow you to figure out who you are without this person. What you need to do to grieve. How you want to move forward. Do you need to move? get a job? Or even just start thinking again.

Our society doesn't allow us much withdrawn time. I'm sure it's because everything moves so fast. But, we NEED this time. It's so inherent to our mental health, that we have to MAKE time to do it. And making time for it will be different for everyone involved.

Personally, I was able to make small changes throughout the last few years. I don't try to schedule as many holiday related things on the weekends. I take time at the end of the day to relax. Even if it's just watching a cheesy holiday movie, or playing a game on my phone. Something where I can let my mind wander. I ask myself questions in early November, how did the year go? What still needs to be finished? What do I want to do next year? How can we do the holidays this year? Can we lighten the load anywhere?

I keep asking those questions after the new year. The Wheel of the Year doesn't hit the Light Half until Beltane (May 1st.). So by then, I've had all the time to contemplate, formulate, and get a game plan together. And usually by mid-April I'm chomping at the bit to get outside, and do all the fun summer things.

It's the ebb and flow of life. We need to embrace it. We need to go with it. Otherwise, we're likely to go insane.

So please! Embrace this dark half of the year. Embrace the time needed to withdraw. Figure out what you need to do to really enjoy this time, and not overwhelm yourself.

This time, give yourself a break. A break from all the madness. Allow yourself time to assess. It's the natural way. Don't fight it. Just go with it.

♥

Depth Year

Earlier this year or late in 2018, (I'm not entirely sure when) but I was watching a lot of Tarot Vlogger YouTube videos. It seemed that all of them started talking about a Depth Year, and whether they were doing one for 2019, their parameters, and such. Of course, I was like WTF is a Depth Year? Luckily, a few of them linked to this article. Go Deeper, Not Wider by David Cain.

I really liked the idea behind it. But of course, not being a fan of change, plus, it was too close to the start of the year, or it had already started. Whatever. I just couldn't bring myself to doing it.

I know, I know.

You can start a "Depth Year" whenever.

And you're right I could. But in typical Boho Ro fashion. I forgot about it.

That is, until those YouTubers started posting update videos about their Depth Year process. How it was going. If they were still following it. What they struggled with. And so on.

But I still couldn't quite figure out if I wanted to do one or not.

See, I've come to terms with one of my failings. I absolutely love self-help books, classes, workbooks on tarot, and various other things (ahem crafts) in life. Where I start, with all great intention, and end up just stopping. And this Depth Year thing is supposed to help you keep from doing that. By not buying more things, or more classes, you should be able to focus on what you already have. Complete the classes, you've already purchased. The workbooks. Books in general. Crafts. What have you. By not being able to chase the latest craze, or the latest tool, the latest idea. We can focus on figuring out what we already have. And using those things to the fullest.

Again, I love the idea, but was hesitant.

I am the Queen of unfinished journals.

Queen of dropping a knitting project half-finished into my WIP pile.

Queen of purchasing "ALL THE THINGS" for a new craft. Making one thing, and putting everything away and forgetting about it.

I know this about myself.

Which is why I've stopped purchasing new classes or workshops. I try to get new books from the library. Cause if I never read it, I just return it and I'm not out the cost of the book, or have it piling up with everything else.

In a sense, I guess I've been doing a cursory "Depth Year". Well, more of a moratorium on the new things. But one thing I've found, which I think is one of my issues with this Depth Year thing is that  not buying the latest class, hasn't made me want to revisit an old class I never completed.

Which is why I'm so hesitant about doing a Depth Year. I'm don't think it will really help me not be the Queen of Half-Assery.

Why am I still thinking about doing one of these though?

Probably because of the things it would very likely help me with.

Budget. Saving. Not accumulating. Not wasting.

Hmm, maybe that's why I SHOULD do a Depth Year. Not necessarily for all the things it supposedly "Will Help Me to Finish", but for the things it will help me avoid.

Ok, now bear with me here. To me, it seemed that most of the YouTubers were focused on not purchasing certain products. They had rules galore for what they could purchase, what they couldn't, and the like. Which are all fine, don't get me wrong. And while I do enjoy a tarot review, it does seem to lead to a lot of FOMO in people, I do like to see all the pretty decks. But, I stopped purchasing ALL THE DECKS when I realized that more than half of the ones I had, I never used. So I gathered up all the unused ones, and passed them on to others that might get some use out of them. They are being used, and are also not taking up space in my house. And since I started doing that, I've also become VERY selective in the new decks I purchase. I have come up with quite an extensive list of MUST's before I even consider a new deck. If it doesn't have ALL the musts. I won't use it. I know this, and I let it go. It's almost like, when I purchase a new deck. I start with the mindset of convince me WHY I need this. Which before, was always a given.

And thanks to all this meandering, stream-of-consciousness post, I think I've finally figured out what my "Depth Year" will look like.

I will:

• Consider WHY I need to purchase things*. 
• Look at what I already have and pass on what I'm not using. Or trash it. 
• Check in, at least Quarterly. (I'll add it to my calendar now, so I can't forget.) 

I'm hoping that this will help with:

• Budgeting/Saving
• Clearing out/reducing stuff.

And in all honestly, I do hope that this will become a permanent fixture in my life. Not one that has an end date. Like the difference between a diet and a lifestyle change. I'm hoping this will be a lifestyle change. Not just another "Stuff Diet". 

Believe me, I also hope that this does make me finish things. Or go "Deeper" on the things I really enjoy. I tend to be all over the place there, so taking time to figure out what I really want, before I hit purchase is always a good thing. 

I am more than willing to pass on, or even throw out the Queen of Half-Assery crown. 

Anyone want it?

* Yes, this will be for ALL areas in my life. Not just crafts, books, or similar things. 

Patterns, Puzzles, & Divination

I like to find patterns in things. From random faces picked out on linoleum floors, to repeating brick patterns on buildings. I always thought this was something other people do as well. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. But it hit me yesterday, that's one of the reasons I love tarot and oracle cards. Well divination in any form really.

Tarot. Oracle decks. Lenormand. Scrying. Whatever it is, I look for the pattern. What does the pattern say to me? If it's a 3 of swords, it could be heartbreak, or paranoia, or martyrdom, or something completely different depending on the cards around it. If it's a picture of a hummingbird, that means speed, agility, flight, smallness, whatever. The pattern is always changing.

Especially when you scry. I've scried?, scryed? using water, smoke, candle wax, tea leaves, for me I term anything that you have to deduce the image from something else as scrying. Heck, if you think about it, my faces from the linoleum floor and wallpaper was a form of scrying. But the point is in the pattern. One day looks like a face, the next day looks like a tree, or a robot. Hmm, note to self, I should think about scrying with clouds. That would be fun on a nice cloudy day.

I also like to solve puzzles. There's a pattern to puzzles. They are logical. Everything fits into place. That's not to say that I am a perfectionist and have to have everything just so. Life is a puzzle, made up of patterns. But it's a giant mess most of the time. Stress. Excitement. Frustration. Anticipation.

Divination can be boiled down to finding patterns in the mess to solve a puzzle. So you start with the overarching puzzle picture. This is what I want clarification on. And you pull cards, read runes, gaze into the smoke/mirror. And then pull out the larger patterns to try to plug into that puzzle framework.

It puts some sort of sense to the world. Or tries to at least. There are times when your cheeky bastard of a deck is like:

Cheeky Deck: You need to think about this more.
Me: Uhhh, duh, that's why I'm asking.
CD: Well you need to have balance in your life.
Me: Okay. How do I do that.
CD: By adding Balance.
Me: I get that. What should I do to add balance?
CD: Add balance.
Me:
Me: Fucking deck.

Though honestly, I tend to only get that when I read for myself. Which is probably because I can't separate myself from the situation. So I typically prefer to read for others. It's a way to help them find something that might help them move forward. If nothing else, divination readings help people find the missing pieces to something in their life. If it didn't, they wouldn't continue to get readings. And that's not to say that Divination will tell you everything. It doesn't, won't, and can't do that.

Maybe it makes sense to think of it like, having new batteries in your flashlight. They are just a bit brighter, to allow you to see a bit better.

Anyway, that was a lot to explain my "AHA" moment of THIS is why I like divination. Isn't it weird how one of those moments where things just finally click in your head, but it takes 500 words or so to explain the entire thing?!?

That's another post, for another day.

Travel Nirvana

I'm in between projects right now. Which is weird for me. I usually have a running list in my head of what to pick up next. Typically, during a project, I decide on what I'm going to start next. It's part of my last push to finish whatever it is. I just finished stitching a cross stitch project for Halloween. I had a lot of fun with this one too. I just have to figure out how to mount it. Anyway, back to my point. I don't have another project in mind to start. During my Halloween project, I figured I'd pick out another cross stitch project or pick up one of my knitting WIP's. But now that I'm done, I find myself wondering what to do.

Will it be another knitting project? Cross Stitch? Reading? Tarot? Watercolor? Something that I haven't discovered yet just waiting to be found?

I think this is because I have an upcoming trip and while I like to be prepared on vacation. I don't want to bring too much. Will it be enough to do? Will I get bored? Will I not even touch it and it's pointless to drag it along with us in my suitcase?

To be honest, I won't know any of that until AFTER my vacation. So I shouldn't worry about it now. Yeah, right. Me not worry about something....pssssht. That's like me not breathing.

I guess the only thing to do right now is throw myself into researching various cross stitch patterns, go through my knitting WIP's, decide if my travel watercolor kit is light enough, and I'm sure a lot of other ideas. It's my gathering information time. Soon to be followed by my culling and cutting out things time. Travel time. And eventually, I really didn't need to take that with us time.

It all goes into the mix for the next vacation I go on. I have to say I am getting better each time. Maybe one day I will finally reach travel activity nirvana. I will be at one with the vacation gods.

But, I won't get there on this trip.

First Post

I never know what to write when I start a new blog. Do I tell my "Mysterious Reader" what to expect? Do I just launch in like it's a continuation of something that came before? Do I question my thought process behind doing this yet again?

Hmmm, why not all three.

Dear "Mysterious Reader"...here we go again. I don't know if anyone is out there reading this. Not that I'm going to write anything that I don't want as public information. All I know is that this is my outlet.

Maybe that's why I'm attempting this again. As a way for me to formalize what's going on in my brain. To make sense of why my world is the way it is. I don't know if others have this issue, but I can understand so easily why others do the things they do. But when I'm in the hot seat, it's just a Jackson Pollock painting in my head. No rhyme or reason.

So, I guess, this is my blog.

It's going to be a random eclectic mixing of whatever I decide to write about.

I'll just have to see where this path goes. Only time will tell.

I guess that's as good a first post as any. Welcome. Have fun....