One of the things I love about my Spiritual practice is the inherent balance of everything. I am sure I will talk about balance in more depth at some point. But, just know that it is one of the driving forces in my life. I strive for balance.
Specifically for this post, I thought I'd talk about the balance of the year. Wicca and a lot of other Pagan religions, follow the Wheel of the Year. It can be either four to eight set holidays. I follow the eight holiday version. These holidays are spread evenly throughout the year.
At least we should do that.
And I hate to say it that way, because our society puts so many "shoulds" on us.
But we do need that cycle of outward and inward.
We have so many pressures put on us by the media, friends, and family. You should parent this way. You should do it while looking good. You should weigh this much, look this way, wear this brand, dress according to this style, have a picture perfect holiday season, and so on.
But we never have a solid amount of time for contemplation and consideration. It's go, go, go as soon as Halloween hits, maybe Thanksgiving if you're lucky. Which is counter to the cycle of the Earth.
The Witches New Year is on Samhain (Halloween for non-pagans) and it's also the start of the Dark Half of the year. It's a time to start pulling inward. Prepping for the cold winter months. What do you want to do this year? What should you let go of? What should you embrace? What should you actively try to pursue? All of these questions are asked now. And surprisingly, you are expected to withdraw, contemplate, and consider your next move.
Now, there is that kind of feeling in the Secular world around New Year's. But our society only really gives us a week or so. After the rush of Christmas, it's okay, now you can relax. But by January 5th, you're expected to dive into the new year. Start accomplishing ALL THE THINGS! Keep to your New Year's Resolutions.
But because there wasn't much contemplation, or even catching your breath, you just start adding to your big plans. You haven't had the time to really think about if they will work or are actually possible to do. Then, when your big plans fail, you feel guilt, shame, or just meh about it. At some point, it becomes a feeling of why bother? And then it's just a flatline of emotion about the whole thing. Or worse, a downward spiral of meh-ness and possibly depression.
This also happens when people pass away. When someone dies, their funeral is typically a week or so later. There's two maybe three days of viewing, funeral, visiting, and such. But the people closest to the deceased are usually still in shock. However, according to society, you've had your "time" to grieve. So you need to pick up and move forward. But the shock is still there. And when it does finally starts to wane, no one is around to help you build your new reality.
You're expected to keep moving forward and upward, without the contemplative time to reassess. To allow you to figure out who you are without this person. What you need to do to grieve. How you want to move forward. Do you need to move? get a job? Or even just start thinking again.
Our society doesn't allow us much withdrawn time. I'm sure it's because everything moves so fast. But, we NEED this time. It's so inherent to our mental health, that we have to MAKE time to do it. And making time for it will be different for everyone involved.
Personally, I was able to make small changes throughout the last few years. I don't try to schedule as many holiday related things on the weekends. I take time at the end of the day to relax. Even if it's just watching a cheesy holiday movie, or playing a game on my phone. Something where I can let my mind wander. I ask myself questions in early November, how did the year go? What still needs to be finished? What do I want to do next year? How can we do the holidays this year? Can we lighten the load anywhere?
I keep asking those questions after the new year. The Wheel of the Year doesn't hit the Light Half until Beltane (May 1st.). So by then, I've had all the time to contemplate, formulate, and get a game plan together. And usually by mid-April I'm chomping at the bit to get outside, and do all the fun summer things.
It's the ebb and flow of life. We need to embrace it. We need to go with it. Otherwise, we're likely to go insane.
So please! Embrace this dark half of the year. Embrace the time needed to withdraw. Figure out what you need to do to really enjoy this time, and not overwhelm yourself.
This time, give yourself a break. A break from all the madness. Allow yourself time to assess. It's the natural way. Don't fight it. Just go with it.
♥
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